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Kitchen counters and permission

When I make dinner, my husband Paul usually cleans up afterwards. One time I asked him, “Hey, I notice when you do the dishes, you don’t wipe the counters.” He said, “Yeah, I lose interest in the counters.”

My eyes almost popped out of my head! I thought, “You lose interest!? As if that’s a reason NOT to do something!” 😲

One of the reasons I am both a student and teacher of Native Genius is because I’m still trying to rid myself of the bad habit of giving MY-ALL to almost everything. Paul knows this and we died laughing when he saw my eyes popping out of my head, not saying a word as I was trying to compute how he gave himself permission to not do the counters. My mind was in a swirl of awestruck, miffed about the dirty counters, and most importantly, in great admiration. 

Most of us were raised to do things well and properly and give it OUR-ALL, but really, does everything deserve YOUR-ALL? 

YOUR-ALL is sacred and important. 

When you’re giving YOUR-ALL to some things, other things aren’t getting YOUR-ALL. The things that are not your Native Genius (the things that make your eyes glaze over) take every ounce of you — YOUR-ALL and thensome — because then you’re in a bad mood the rest of the day, maybe even depressed, grumpy… you know the drill. You’re also spending a sh*t ton of your precious energy under-contributing your gifts to this world. 

What deserves YOUR-ALL? Do you give yourself permission to lose interest? And then do you give yourself permission to look for other options? 

When you do, you'll be treating yourself with more love and respect, because you’ll be honoring how you’re wired to contribute to the world. I’m learning to do this right alongside you. The counters will always need to be done, but only you know if they deserve YOUR-ALL. 

Individuals: What’s something that’s getting YOUR-ALL that doesn’t deserve it? What’s something that you’d love to be giving YOUR-ALL to? How can you begin to give more time and energy to the things that deserve it? 

Leaders: First, you need each member of your team giving their ALL, most of the time. If someone is not giving their ALL, is it across the board or just some things? Rule out the obvious: are they grappling with something in their personal life? If not, ask, “Would they be a problem regardless of their role, or is it just this role?” If they would be a problem regardless of their role, then most likely there’s an EQ problem and the question is do you want to invest and help them grow their EQ so they can perform better? If they give their ALL to some things but not others, know this, you are getting a fraction of the talent you could be getting from your payroll dollars and this human before you, who deserves to give their ALL to something they love. It will never be perfect, and resources are often constrained, but without trying to make it a little better for everyone, we all lose.


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